2
Wow.....
what I said was an understatement.
there really is no
fucking happiness.
because I was happier than
anything before.
then it all faded.
the tiny sliver of happy
that I felt.
its gone.
I was so happy.
then it turned to tears
like it always does.
it turned to hate inside,
and that's what's making
me die a little
every day.
its what makes me sad.
ill of upbeat things.
i cant do this.
being a small child was so much simpler.
when the only thing you had to ever worry about,
was your siblings
stealing your toys.
now.....
you have to worry about the world.
you have everything to
think about.
your life to plan,
and who to please.
there's just no happiness in it all.
in anything at all.
sometimes you make me feel it.
all the pain inside,
you make me know that
its really there and that it hurts.
you make me know that happiness
inst real.
I used to think it was.
but its just like
the super heroes.
Santa clause even
finding out the tooth
fairy isn't real.
its just a thing of the imagination.
if not a hallucination.
happiness is like a drug.
you feel the high that
happiness gives you,
the hallucination part that isn't real,
then when that has went away
the high leaves you feeling down.
so you do real drugs,
so that way you can feel
something real.
the drug.
and not the impersonation.
you do reckless things
just to feel.
just to be heard.
so you are heard,
rather than screaming silent
screams no one can hear.
that way you know you're alive.
you cut to feel the pain.
to see the blood trickle
down your arm,
tickling as it runs.
it brings you actual light in your eyes.
you know its a sign,
of your pain your tears,
your anger and sadness.
but people don't know the code.
you try and send it,
but they don't listen.
they don't see it written in your eyes,
your arm.
they cant understand our apin.
the signs and cries we send out,
never get answered.
so we cant say we don't ask for help.
because we do,
were just not up front about it.
because if they really cared,
they'd look so much deeper,
to see what they would find.
but do they dare?
what I said was an understatement.
there really is no
fucking happiness.
because I was happier than
anything before.
then it all faded.
the tiny sliver of happy
that I felt.
its gone.
I was so happy.
then it turned to tears
like it always does.
it turned to hate inside,
and that's what's making
me die a little
every day.
its what makes me sad.
ill of upbeat things.
i cant do this.
being a small child was so much simpler.
when the only thing you had to ever worry about,
was your siblings
stealing your toys.
now.....
you have to worry about the world.
you have everything to
think about.
your life to plan,
and who to please.
there's just no happiness in it all.
in anything at all.
sometimes you make me feel it.
all the pain inside,
you make me know that
its really there and that it hurts.
you make me know that happiness
inst real.
I used to think it was.
but its just like
the super heroes.
Santa clause even
finding out the tooth
fairy isn't real.
its just a thing of the imagination.
if not a hallucination.
happiness is like a drug.
you feel the high that
happiness gives you,
the hallucination part that isn't real,
then when that has went away
the high leaves you feeling down.
so you do real drugs,
so that way you can feel
something real.
the drug.
and not the impersonation.
you do reckless things
just to feel.
just to be heard.
so you are heard,
rather than screaming silent
screams no one can hear.
that way you know you're alive.
you cut to feel the pain.
to see the blood trickle
down your arm,
tickling as it runs.
it brings you actual light in your eyes.
you know its a sign,
of your pain your tears,
your anger and sadness.
but people don't know the code.
you try and send it,
but they don't listen.
they don't see it written in your eyes,
your arm.
they cant understand our apin.
the signs and cries we send out,
never get answered.
so we cant say we don't ask for help.
because we do,
were just not up front about it.
because if they really cared,
they'd look so much deeper,
to see what they would find.
but do they dare?
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